Monday, August 01, 2005

Talmud Torah.

Fine. So last night I was the special guest. Well, not really special, but I was the guest. Me and a couple of friends ended up going to our rabbi's siyum. The rabbi has a kollel, and his crew just finished yet another mesechte. The tables where all nicely laid, golden crispy bilkes, gefilte fish, schnitzel, kugel and delicious strawberry ice cream where all on the menu. After all, it's a sudas mitzvah – so just stuff our faces! Everything was prepared with style and class, fit for royalty. All was there in honor for the words of wisdom that these real bnei torah feverishly have learned.

I was pretty much shocked, or should I say amazed, by the behavior of some of these kli koidesh… Is that what the torah teaches them? Some where just joking and making fun – others where just stuffing their faces with food. The rabbi was darshening, and of course - noone was listening. At least try, fake listening. Pretend you care. But no, your silly and immature jokes are more important. Much more important.

Many years ago (lol), when I was nicely learning in yeshiva ketana - I realized something really odd. It was strange seeing that, in a place solely devoted to establishing young teens future, they where so wrong, so mistaken. The learning boys where frequently the only ones that one was supposed to look up at. Any other boy, who wasn't so smart, or didn't have a tuches to sit on all day, was labeled second class. And to make it worse, not only did the rabbi's label them that way - even their fellow colleuges looked down at them. Please do note, we are talking about 14 year old, immature little kids. Nevertheless, their ideas come from what they see, from what they feel by their superiors.

I was talking to this rebbish child the other day - he was all proud of the fact that his son-in-law knew 1500 daf by heart, at the age of 18, just before he got married. Now, by no means am I trying to push him down. In matter of fact, he's a really nice guy. Middos toives, kedishe and simche.

But, if all the boys sitting on those wooden benches, shokeling by a shtender, leaning over, reading a reb chaim.... If all those black-and-white bochurim think that their only mission is reaching the 1500 blatt gemoro. If that's what they think Judaism is all about... And the rest isn't really important. If a kind heart, a clean head and a straight life is unimportant - then, then.. I don't know. it's pretty sad.

But if that's what the Rabbi's preach, is there any wonder why the so called good-learners get snatched, and all the other boys - better boys, kinder boys just get dragged along and wait for whatever second class girl will take them... And once they get married; Kollel. They all got to sit in kollel. 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Bloody hell! Will that do any difference? Will he be any better, just because you want him to sit for 10 years in kollel?! You give him money - he gets a free vacation, and just sits in kollel. Gan eden!

Or maybe it's all the systems fault? Maybe blame it on the net? No. Just blame it on the yachne town syndrome. What will the shtetl think if your son in law would work.... Hashem yishmor! "You know Yossel's new aidem - he works!" Oh, tragic.

And who's to blame for the way our lovely shtetl thinks and acts? Well, the Rabbi's of course. They are the ones that pressure the 'learning' factor of judaism, instead of focusing on things really as important. But, let us not blame them. Isn't it easyer to just tell the whole yeshiva that everyone has to sit and learn all day - instead of helping each individual boy. Just tell them to learn, and you'll save yourself the hassle. The hassle of helping the kids, one by one. The hassle of polishing all the young diamonds, fixing them and restoring them to their original glory that God so magically bestowed on these young men.

And the Rabbi's, on their turn, just point their fingers towards the hailige mishne - Talmud Torah keneged kulom...


  • Once you realize there is a problem, you can't just stick your head back in the Gemorah/sand and continue with it like before. What are you doing, what changes are you going to do, to not be like them?

    (This is not directed at Yingele, but at anyone/everyone who has ever thought about it.)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Monday, August 01, 2005 4:52:00 PM  

  • Ying,

    There's no point getting worked up about it anymore. It's politics, pure and simple, the Rabbonim want power, control, to lead over the minds of the simple hearted sheep who will follow their every word and not have the ability to think for themselves.


    By Blogger The Rabbi's Kid, at Monday, August 01, 2005 7:13:00 PM  

  • pretty damn good article if i say so myself. Its fake, everythings fake, even the fake people look down on other fake people just coz those other fake me people dont fake it enough! Everyone's a fraud, cheat, or a lier in the world.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Monday, August 01, 2005 9:03:00 PM  

  • h ecouldn't wait a week so you could eat meat at the siyum. I think learning is great for certain people. My brother is a talmid chochum who does great work in and out of the beis medrash. I agree it shouldn't be forced on everyone. We daven "V'ten Chelkeinu B'toratecha" everyone has their own approach towards integrating torah study into their life. There isn't one way.

    So nu, what will you do diferent?

    By Blogger Daniel, at Monday, August 01, 2005 10:49:00 PM  

  • Okay, Yingele, you are right. But how about putting your own you-know-what on the line? Months ago, I advised you to try a real job, and you wimped out saying you folks would be disappointed if you left yeshiva. Stand up for what you believe, and go earn your bread.

    By Blogger tuesdaywishes, at Tuesday, August 02, 2005 4:35:00 AM  

  • Anon and Danny - no clue. What do you think?

    TRK - Lol, I'm not worked up...

    Anon - thank you! It's a fake world afterall, it's a fake world afterall lalala....

    Tuesday - Better to live being wrong, then to die being right. When the trafficlight is green, but some wild maniac is zooming down the road - are you just going to contune to cross, just because you are right, and he is wrong? Or are you going to stay wrong, but live.

    My parents are going to flip if I would go to work. Eventhough it would be right, I would be dead right... So I prefer just to keep on doing the wrong - and stay alive.

    By Blogger yingele, at Tuesday, August 02, 2005 10:15:00 AM  

  • I didn't go to Kollel after I got married and I'm considered a misfit where I live.
    Thankfully my parents didn’t pressure me to go and my wife preferred staying close to her mom rather than living in Jerusalem and having to do everything herself.
    My only hope is, this won’t hurt my children’s Shidduchim prospect one day.

    By Blogger Pragmatician, at Tuesday, August 02, 2005 5:31:00 PM  

  • Yingele,
    Do you enjoy learning? I never liked it when I was in Yeshiva. I was very strongly encouraged to pursue a "career" in learning and I resisted. Now I enjoy learning knowing I do it not because I have to (no pressure from wife, famility, rebbes) rather because I want to.
    I ask you again, what will you do?

    By Blogger Daniel, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 12:15:00 AM  

  • What is a "second class girl"?

    By Blogger Cosmic X, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 11:59:00 AM  

  • Yingele, when you have a chance, pop back over to my blog so we can continue the debate you started :)

    By Blogger energynorm, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 3:51:00 PM  

  • "second class" girl/boy = everyone else, from anyone who considers themself first class.

    By Blogger Karl, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 3:54:00 PM  

  • Prag - you don;t go to kollel? Shaigetz! ;)

    Daniel - What I'm going to do? Stay learning till I get married. That's forsure.

    Cosmicx - You know, like not the best family, history, name etc etc

    By Blogger yingele, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 3:55:00 PM  

  • Energy - sure thing, but.. I don't debate.

    And your profile is locked... Your address is?

    By Blogger yingele, at Thursday, August 04, 2005 3:57:00 PM  

  • You bring up real issues. Plus you totally have such nice pictures on your blog.


    By Blogger Elisheva, at Thursday, August 11, 2005 8:18:00 AM  

  • Thank you Elisheva.

    By Blogger yingele, at Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:08:00 PM  

  • I think we should just blame the whole thing on the hurricane. But seriously.

    There is a need for people to learn all day, and there is a need for people to work. Most people can not learn all day, either because they lack the head or the zitz fleish, or they need to support their family.

    While back in the day those that were in yeshiva learnt more then most people learn in today's yeshivas, that was only because if you couldn't learn that way, or if your family needed money you were not in yeshiva. So today we have more people torah educated, but at a lower level.

    Not sitting in kollel in order to go work is no crime, if there were no such people the kollel people wouldn't be able to survive, and that even after betuach liume.

    And I don't think its a conspiracy of the rabbis for power, just that they have the wrong haskofa on how most people are in today's world.

    (while most of this can be nonsense, I just need to get my finger exercise today)

    By Blogger The real me, at Tuesday, September 06, 2005 5:05:00 AM  

  • Ying,

    all i can say is i feel your pain.

    meanwhile chap arein what u can and Hashem should help us all.

    By Blogger Rebbele, at Friday, September 09, 2005 5:33:00 PM  

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