Yingele...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Connection Lost.


Lag Ba'omer bonfire in Meron.

Meron - The little hill up north in the Land of Israel. For one day a year, a quiet village is transformed into a lively and busy city. Thousands flock annually to the holy tomb of the Tanna R’ Shimon Bar Yochai. The whole place is totally chock-a-block. Everyones neighbor will literally be spending Lag Ba’Omer praying, crying and dancing in the Galil Mountains. The whole place is one huge balagan. Chai Rottel Inc. has put up drinking stands all over the place, thousands of pilgrims praying and proud Papa’s carrying their 3 year old zeeskaiten happily on their shoulders.

Everyone thinks I’m crazy; I can’t‎ be bothered going to Meron. It’s a 3 hour bus shlep, coming back to Jerusalem at four am. I can’t be bothered running around, through all the pushing and geshtiperst and making sure not to stray off the glat-mahadrin men-only path. Little Yingele is not excited to see the Beyaner Rebbe light the gigantic bonfire, and he won’t feel comfortable dancing kadatchkes with the Toldos Aaron Chasidim. Indeed, there are a few cool parties, markets and barbeque's at the bottom of the hill, but there’s no big chance that I’ll be joining them.

“Yingele,” they tell me, “just go to Meron. You’ll feel a connection with your God.” A connection with God – that’s what it’s all about. I see. But what exactly is this ‘connection’ then? How does it feel? And what will happen if I will indeed experience it? I question if it will change me into a better and happier Yingele, or will it just fill me with regret and disappointment. This ‘relationship’ isn’t about sitting on the windowsill, gazing smilingly at the twinkling stars. Is it? Anyways, even if I do ‘feel’ that aliyah, history has already proven; it won’t last for too long. The next morning I’ll be little Yingele once again. So what’s the point? Connection what. Connection how. Connection where. Connection lost.

Maybe it’s just a feeling that one has when he follows Gods orders. Or it’s just something that makes you yearn for His words. I have no clue what this bond with God is, so I have no indication that I ever felt it. I’m not convinced that I ever did feel this heavenly relationship. I may not know what to dial, or He might not be picking up. I didn’t pay my bills, so maybe He just cut my line off. This Lag Ba’omer I might attempt one more redial. We’ll see who picks up, we'll see how long I stay on the line.

15 Comments:

  • You can be our foreign correspondent :-D

    By Blogger kishmech, at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:38:00 PM  

  • Ying,

    Apparently tghe long distance lines are also pretty good, so wherever u r physically and spiritually u can still call. Some of my best con versations have come from really far away.

    Good post. I always regret never making it to Meron on Lag Baomer, just once, to say I've done it.

    TRK

    By Blogger The Rabbi's Kid, at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:42:00 PM  

  • Dude, no chicks in Meron? That makes it a good enough reason, doesn't it? :-)

    By Blogger Duude, at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:49:00 PM  

  • Ying in your age I had been many times to moren and I must admit that I felt ditto like you, but last year I went and decide that I am going there for “ME” with no agenda and not for trying to find god or a direct line to him there. To reverse JFK’s great line I went with the feeling of “think not what I can do for god; but think what god can do for me”. And I just pushed my self shoulder to shoulder with the others and let lose and joint in with the dancing and singing and I walk away with an inspired and elevated feeling. So all I can recommend is try going and don’t be so judgmental with yourself, and like a drop of water does not make a visible difference when I falls in to the bucket; in the same way all the little things we do and experience might not have a visible impact on as, but over time it fashions the total of who we are.
    Either way enjoy and there is always some “eye candy” there if you really get board!!!

    By Blogger LostSpirit, at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:57:00 PM  

  • I'm sorry to have to disagree with your way of thinking, Ying. but how can you not feel "soemthing" being there????
    I've gone, my brothers have gone, my friends have gone, all of them came away with an inner feeling of ..something that cannot be described in words...and I have to tell you, I was teary eyed all the way. I FELT a connection! Hashem was there!!
    I know that I do many , many things that are totally wrong, (and how!) but, being there.....I felt the kedusha of the place, and I felt jealous of the people who were pure of heart...not like me.

    By Blogger Margaritagirrl, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 2:08:00 AM  

  • Ying, what else are you going to do if you didnt go? Sit in the beis shteiging all night, delving the depths of "The Seforim" Hakdoshim???

    Turn off your computer, get off your lazy tush and go to Meron!

    Don't go with the expectation of "I'm going to be connected", or think "all this does nothing for me"; go with an open heart and mind.

    By Blogger Karl, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 3:25:00 AM  

  • Lol Kishmech.

    Trk - If I don't end up going, I might call Him long distance. Oh, but that type of call is possible all year round, no?

    Duude - Lol! But I think I'm going under Frummer-Police Surveillance.

    Lost - After reading your post I actually changed my mind. I'm going. Not going there to search for God, connections, holiness, aliyas etc etc etc. I'll anyways be disappointed. I'm just going to have a blast. I wont care about anyone and anything, just going to enjoy every second!

    By Blogger yingele, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 9:10:00 AM  

  • MGirl - Thank you for proving my point. If 'jealous' is the way I'll feel, 'teary' the way I'll be, and it wont make any difference anyhow... Then I don't have any reason to go.

    Karl - You're right. I'm not getting onto that bus with any expectations at all. Just going to go, loosen up, and get the party started!

    By Blogger yingele, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 9:13:00 AM  

  • Yingele:

    Go, join the crowd, follow the flow, act like the rest, feel the vibe.

    Just don't get carried away. Most of it is hype. If you truly want a connection with God, get it from doing what he wants, not by going on an outing, and leaving it at that.

    Those who believe that going to Meron is the key to spirituality and a direct line to God are kidding themselves and are taking the easy way out. They are too chicken to do some hard grafting themselves.

    Sure, some things can be inspirational, and Meron obviously is one of those, but its not Meron which will make a person fulfilled, its a persons own actions.

    Go to Meron, come back on a high, and work to stay up there, and you will have achieved something. Go, and come back behaving in your old ways, you will have had a nice day out, and another day away from your Gemorah, but of course, you went to Meron. Big deal.

    By Blogger Frummer?????, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 12:12:00 PM  

  • I can't speak specifically to the issue of Meron for two reasons: I'm female (thus excluded from the best of it) and I've never been there. But I can tell you this: Get that many Jews in one spot, and G-d is there.

    As for meeting G-d in a certain place and time when He is Infinite and always there, to me it's like being married. Why celebrate an anniversary or anything like that by having a special dinner together? Aren't you together every night anyway? My answer is that hubby and I are together all of the time, but appointing certain occasions to deliberately renew and celebrate that connection improves it. Likewise, there are certain times and places for me to renew and celebrate my connection to G-d. I'm sure He feels it when we reach out to Him.

    By Blogger tuesdaywishes, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 8:53:00 PM  

  • you have been taged!!! see my latest blog

    By Blogger LostSpirit, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 10:28:00 PM  

  • Yingele, enjoy Meron, hope it is wonderful.
    On a side note, God is not like Verizon or Sprint, IDT or MCI... He does NOT cut off service. Ever. Not even if you've been a bit neglectful with your bills.

    By Blogger survivor, at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 11:34:00 PM  

  • Go just for the Shtick like some one said just to say you have been there. In years to come when you will live here, and when Lag Beomer comes around and people fly out for the day ul regret you never went. Some things its worth doing just to cross it of the list.

    By Blogger Joe, at Thursday, May 26, 2005 2:14:00 PM  

  • I don't get the whole meron thing!
    How does going to party at a grave make a connection with God?? and if it does why do we have to go Grave Hopping in the north? why don't we party in Har Herzl or Har Hazeitim, lot's dead people there.. I am sure out of all of them we can find at least a minyun worth of Tzadikim.

    A persons connection with God is inside us not at Meron. Everyone who needs a connection with god does not need to go to meron, trus me I have been there plenty of times (never on Lag Baomer - Chas Ve Chalila) and I felt The same connection I feel every time I dovin here In Jerusalem.

    By Blogger Oleh Yahshan, at Monday, May 30, 2005 8:58:00 PM  

  • Meron was nice. I stayed there for like 2 hours. Opened a tehillim, prayed a little and danced. Was fun, actually! I didn't go looking for any spirituality etc - just went for the fun. Thank you all, I'm glad I went!

    ying.

    By Blogger yingele, at Thursday, June 02, 2005 12:58:00 PM  

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